Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
