Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
