I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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