she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You made out with two different species that night
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
