Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
