I just cut my nipple shaving
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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