my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
