haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
