he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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