thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
