if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
