I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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