dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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