Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
