So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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