I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
