I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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