He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize