at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
