Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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