his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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