Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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