Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I came so hard my ears popped.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
