Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
