Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
