The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
