Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
