I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
