dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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