i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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