so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
