You just made me feel so damn special
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
