So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
