My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
