he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
