Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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