So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
