R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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