I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
BRING THE BAGELS
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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