wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Randomize