And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
