i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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