I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
