I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
