I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
