Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Randomize
