yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize