Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
