You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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