I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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