this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
