We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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