Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
