Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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