Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
