I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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